Today I want to talk about a saucy topic. It’s all about how to give a better Blow Job to your lover/partner/husband. I am sure you will love this topic if you like to give and surprise your lover or if you just want to improve your knowledge and skills.
It’s all about enjoying giving pleasure to the one you love unconditionally and worshipping the pure masculine essence in him.
The Blow Job or Fellatio
For our understanding Blow Job or Fellatio originates from fellātus, which in Latin is fellāre, meaning to suck. In Greece and in modern Japan fellatio has been described as ‘playing the flute’. It’s an erotic art as much as playing flute is an art too. And we already notice: the Blow Job is not an ideal translation, as it’s more about sucking than blowing.
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The 3 Perfomance Worries
- First of all, you can’t do anything wrong if you stay in tune with your partner – except taking the Blow Job too seriously and literally ‘blowing’ into your lovers penis. That could really hurt and he might end up in the hospital.
- You won’t disappoint him. Your lover will love you for every minute you spend time with him and his penis.
- The issue of feeling disgusted. If you have trouble with the taste or smell of your lover’s penis, just ask him to have a shower before you give him a Blow Job or even do it under the shower if necessary. Eventually you will start loving his natural smell and the taste of his juice as more trust and depth develops in your relationship.
The Art of Playing The Flute
As I said there is no right or wrong. It’s your essence, your creativity and every Blow Job will always be a unique one. But I have some hints for you:
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- Set an intention. I sometimes notice that my partner can’t fully receive and relax because he wants to give pleasure to me as well. So tell him that now it’s his time. Make it clear that you are the giver and he is the receiver. With this mindset it’s easier for him to relax and surrender.
- Before you start, look beyond your lover, try to see his pure masculine essence, his very being beyond form and matter, and adopt a grateful attitude at being allowed to worship his body.
- Warm up: I think it’s a myth that only women enjoy foreplay. I realize that quick Blow Jobs can be nice but the level of arousal is normally lower and also the orgasms won’t have the same quality. So take your time. Caress your partner, kiss him all over his body from lips, face, down his neck, to his nipples where men are generally as sensitive as women. Go down his belly, kiss and massage his whole body as gently, wildly and passionately as you want. Continue as long as you have the feeling that your partner has a good amount of body awareness and arousal.. The high consumption of porn at an early age and the fact that the masturbation rate has increased, causes low sensitivity of the male genitals. Men are often very penis-focused without much awareness of other sensual parts of their body and they sometimes experience even the ‘death grip’ – a condition where the penis gets insensitive and almost numb because of too much masturbation (for further information: http://www.curedeathgrip.com/). Teach your lover to become more sensitive of their penis and other parts of their body through Foreplay; he will benefit tremendously and increase his level of arousal and orgasms.
- Worship his penis: You can start by bowing down to his penis. Many men are insecure about their penis size. Show him how much you love him and his penis and that he is beautiful. This relaxes him and you can start holding his penis with your hands while you kiss him from the shaft up. Kissing his penis is a great starter and from there you can continue playing with your tongue, licking from below up and around the glans and head of the penis. The head of the penis is the most sensitive, so be gentle and don’t over-stimulate unless you know that your lover likes it intensely. At some point you can introduce your whole mouth by going around and up and down the penis. The tongue plays an important role here, do some swirling and massaging with your tongue. You can also play with sucking on his penis but never forget your magic tongue. Be creative and don’t forget his gorgeous balls – they love to be stroked, kissed and massaged. Don’t be afraid to use your hands around his shaft moving up and down while you use your mouth at the same time – this gives him stronger stimulation and he will love you for it.
- Continue reminding him of his whole body awareness by stroking and massaging him upwards without stopping the Blow Job itself.
- Diversity: Try different things. Use feathers, silk, massage balls, oil or advance your blowjob techniques… it’s in your hands. Sometimes I treat my lover with chocolate and fruits to stimulate his senses and that supports the power of the tongue which is definitely one of the secrets when it comes to Blow Job in my opinion.
- The big O: If you want him to come, increase the speed and pressure of the technique that seems to stimulate him the most. Always stay in tune with your lover – eye contact is very important! Ask him what feels pleasurable for him if you are not sure. At the point of Orgasm continue the technique but slow down. Stroke with one hand upwards over his body so that he can spread the orgasmic feeling all over his body. If your lover ejaculates offer him a nice place on your body, in your mouth or whatever feels safe and comfortable for both of you. If your lover is practising sexual continence (not ejaculating) you need to be very alert and stay strongly in contact with the level of arousal of your lover.
I believe that a Blow Job is something very special and pure; especially with the right attitude it can be a connecting ritual for you and your lover. Learning to play his flute will bring harmony and joy to your sex life.
Featured hhoto by Phill Lister.
Photo by Orofacial.
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